7 things learned from being a cast members on a reality show

We have all seen the headlines and think we know everything there is to know about the Kardashians, or at least I myself thought that. Sipping mimosas, eating salads, doing make-up and throwing in a little drama was the formula. So when I got invited to join the season 3’s cast of Revenge Body With Khloe Kardashian, I thought, “why not?”. Its reality TV so it would be easy, I would work out with a celebrity trainer every now and then, and they would make up some drama and that would be that, right? WRONG!!! 

First, let me tell you that to even get on the show you have to go through a bunch of tests: mental, physical and psychological all to make sure you can handle such an intense transformation in a short amount of time. This process can take weeks or even months. 

The hardest part of the process is laying your whole life out to complete strangers so they can see what happened. Meaning, “how did you get to the place where you needed help?” or in my case that extra push to move from “Headache & Heartbreak” to “Healing and Happiness”, which is the subtitle of my book Colorful Confessions: From Headache & Heartbreak to Healing & Happiness. But after everything is done and Khloe selects you, thinks you’re a good person for her to mentor and helps you transform, if you're lucky, you will learn a thing or two about life from this international superstar. → (But after everything is done and Khloe selects you for mentorship to help you transform, hopefully, you will learn a thing or two about life from this interrelationship superstar.)

#7 Own It

Don’t apologize for who you are or who you choose to be because it’s your life and you only have one to live, this is your journey and you should not feel obligated to tell anyone anything. When I told my friends and family at my reveal on the shown I was bisexual, some people were ok and others as you will see on the show, were not.

That's ok because it was not me telling them because I thought I had to, but because I wanted to. Khloe really helped and mentored me to grow and developed into the man I am so proud of and I am no longer ashamed to share it no matter who does not agree

#6 Don't Care About What Others Think

In my first week of filming,  I was so scared of what to say because of how other people would perceive it. Will they think I am crazy? Will everyone hate me? Will they think I am only saying this for the show? It was not until a producer came to me and told me to stop holding back and to get out of my own head. She told me, “Khloe picked you for you and you have to trust that.” It was not until this moment that I started to speak my truth no matter how ugly or bad I thought it sounded. The crazy part about it is that as bad as I thought it sounded in my head, once I said it aloud, the reaction was nowhere near what I thought it would be.  

#5 Know What Fight or Flight Looks Like For You

If you don't know what fight or flight means, it’s a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival. According to Wikipedia, (yes, I know, but Wikipedia has the best definition). The key word in the definition is perceived. This does not always have to be true, which circles back to #7 Challenge Your Perspective. Once you know what fight or flight looks like you will be able to tell when you’re getting uncomfortable and gain control of the situation before it becomes out of control. For me, fight or flight looks like trust (as you can probably tell after reading this). The moment I feel as though I can’t trust you or you do something that I perceive as “shady,” I shut down or explode as I did when the tension between me and my trainer intensified. So now I try to articulate to people what I perceive.  

#4 Know What You Need and Be Okay with That

There is a quote by Dr.Seuss that says, “ Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” I love this quote because no one is the same. We are all different. We learn differently, achieve things differently and handle situations differently. For me, the hardest part about losing forty pounds in twelve weeks was diet and nutrition. The workouts were hard but going cold turkey with the bacon and fries was definitely a challenge! (I LOVE bacon and fries!!!). For the first six weeks, I didn't push hard with the meal plan because I thought it was not a good fit for me. It was mentally and emotionally unhealthy because my frustration was shown in an explosive way. After I articulated my frustration and really pushed myself, Khloe, Simone, and the team then further assisted me proper diet and nutrition and soon, the weight melted off. To this day, I still use a meal delivery service even after the show ended.     

#3 Use What You Have to Get What You Want

This is a topic I touch on in my book which you can purchase HERE if you would like. At the end of the day you only have what you have at this moment, so use your resources wisely and effectively.  I equate life to a game of spades, which is a card game in case you didn’t know. You can't control the hand you get but more so you can you see the other cards that are not in your hand. But you can learn the rules, watch and study the moves along with the game and play your hand the best you can. On the show, I realized my cards were my story and I didnt know what was going to be thrown at me or how I was going to be edited. But I told my story honestly and at the end of the day, I was granted the season premiere episode, which is a huge deal!


#2 Be Nice and Polite To Everyone

No matter if I had just wrapped filming,  cried my eyes out at church or yelled at the top of my lungs at my trainer, when it was time to leave I always remained nice and polite individual. Now I know what you’re thinking, “How did you do that after going through all these emotions?”. Well, when I came down from the fight or flight mode I would center myself back with prayer and ask God to help me calm down and see the good in the situation. Every time I prayed He did just that. After I collected myself I would say thank you to everyone and apologize to anyone I may have offended.   

#1 Hard Work Pays Off

When you feel like quitting always remember why you started. When you feel like quitting remember what you came here for. When you feel like quitting remember what you have to lose. I thought about quitting a couple of times throughout the show and honestly, I think the producers might have thought about firing me.  But at the end of the day, as I say in my book, I always remembered, “even though this is hard, this too shall pass”. I was pushed to my limits physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. In the beginning, it felt like I had nothing to show for it. After a while, all of that hard work caught up with me and gave me the motivation to finish.  

In the end, after the sun has set on my time with Revenge Body, these helpful life tips Khloe and her team have taught me will help propel me into a new way of thinking and moving through life.